Oooo ! its going to be hot, Carol Kerkwood said 31 degrees and she knows her stuff. So everyone dug out their high tech airtex riding jackets. Actually old jackets with holes that have evolved over years. Meeting at Tesco Braintree we gathered in the shade of a convenient hedge, seventeen members. Three passengers, Pam, Pauline and Mandy. There was a hint that after breakie we were to visit a motorbike shop and I fancy some wives came along to dissuade the purchase of another bike ?

I like to get there early to chat to the others, in no time at all our leader, Brian, said we were under starters orders lets go. In the rush to get to breakfast ‘the off’ resembled what I can only describe as an OAP Le Mans start. But wait. The hedge that had protected us so well from the blazing sun had claimed a victim. For reasons best known to himself Dave Bradley had ventured into the hedge and a branch dug into his head making a significant scratch. With blood running down his face Pam was on hand stem the flow ( this is why Dave isn’t allowed out by himself ) We would have stuck some duct tape on him but it seemed a waste so Pam put a tissue on him to stop the helmet becoming glued and off we went.

A bit of a raggedy start but we all came together to enjoy a lovely route to our prearranged breakfast stop.

Seated all together in a lovely cool cafe we ordered our drinks which arrived rather randomly at different ends of the table to where they belonged. No problem, some shuffling of cups soon found their rightful owners except Rex. He had his pot of tea but the staff considered he could get by without a cup and saucer. After some requests he got a cup and saucer which rather disappointed us as someone ( Paul ) suggested he could drink from the spout. Pauline wants some tommy sauce for her sausage bap, a gentle squeeze and the pot empties most of its contents on her breakfast. I'm thinking it's a mistake, or she 'really ' likes tomato sauce.

To avoid further injury Dave B was seen wearing a beanie hat.

Lovely breakfast and socialising. They set off to TTT motorcycles in Sudbury but not for me, I had to return home to liberate the dog who was home alone.

My agent Simon reports.

TTT was very hot inside and they had a bit of a ' do ' going on, open day I recon. No one bought a motorbike as they were all frightingly expensive and wives were relieved, mentally redirecting the money to a holiday in Jaywick.

Simon reports on the way home the handling of his Triumph became even worse. I'll leave him to describe it in his own words to follow.

The second leg of the journey passed without incident I think (but do check with Dave and Pam as I think he had a near miss in the car park). Arriving at TTs it was apparent that a bike event was underway with (loud) music and lots of bikes to view. About half the group went there. However on the way home the Bonneville decided to throw its front fork cap at the rider and spew oil everywhere. Luckily it sat nicely on a white line with no cars running it over. However riding home with only one fork attached and a TLS brake became a test of nerve and use of back brake only. Spot the cap. Simon Harris